Dear (Ex) Elder Ward,

I don't know you, but congratulations on finishing your mission. That's awesome.  Now, could you please hurry up and send me the tape that Elder Peterson sent home with you? What could possibly be holding you up? It's not like you have family members who want to spend time with you or anything.

(Okay, I'm half joking. But really. Send the tape soon. I've been waiting for that sucker for three months.)

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